6 Things I learned in June

You cannot go very far without seeing someone proclaim that 2020 is trying to "take them out." I am here also to confirm that 2020 tried to take me out too. It cannot be denied that it has been an incredibly eventful year for everyone. We’ve had a pandemic, we’ve had a revolution & it has been "noisy." I’m sure we can collectively say we’re tired.

 I spent the month of June taking time out for myself. I ditched social media and decided to take a moment. I wish I could say it was a thoroughly thought out plan to achieve some self-care, but unfortunately, it wasn't. I decided to share 6 things I learned in June, some things took me by surprise, and other items served as the perfectly timed reminder.

Everybody has a breaking point.

 I lost my mum in February after a long battle with cancer. I spent a couple of weeks frantically planning the funeral & then quickly started a new job four days later. I'm bewildered about how I did this, and the fact that I don't remember much from this timeframe is likely a testament to the fact I probably shouldn't have done that. Two days into my new job and lockdown was announced, I suddenly found myself working from home, trying to navigate my way around a new job and grieving all while being at home alone. Bad vibes.

 In hindsight, I'm not sure how I thought I could continue to keep going without hitting a breaking point. Sometimes you can feel your breaking point coming, and other times you experience it at the moment it arrives. Mine was the latter. I thought I was fine, and I thought I was all grieved out. It turns out I was wrong, and on May 30th, I experienced the straw that broke the camel’s back.Everybody has a breaking point; we’re not invincible, and let's be honest, life is mad. We often don’t realise the impact our day to day lives have on us and how things we accept as part and parcel of life can wear us down. In June, I was reminded that I need to take it easy on myself. I need to give myself space and time to heal. Look after your wellbeing.

“What would model Marve do”

Jade Cox
June 2nd

“You’re an amazing woman & you deserve the world”

Jamal Kwesi

June 22nd

Face your reality

 I am a classic crab, hard on the outside and soft on the inside. The majority of the reason for hitting a breaking point was not taking the time to process emotions. I powered through, and to know me is to know that this attitude is very on-brand for me. The thing with not taking the time to process things, is it will eventually surface some way or another, at some point in your life. Whether that is months or years down the line, rest assured that it will come to disrupt you and could even block a blessing. 

I spent the first week of June feeling absolutely everything I had ignored, and I was on the ropes. When my cousin and I reminisce about that week, she says, “Sis, you were not on the ropes, you were hanging off." It’s funny now, and we laugh about it, but it didn’t feel great at all. I lost 10lbs in a week. I cried a lot and believe it or not; I’m not the best looking when I cry. The only thing I could bring myself to watch was prison documentaries because I was determined to find people suffering more than me. I laugh as I write this, but yes, prison documentaries.

My friend sent me the above, and I couldn’t have described June any other way. In hindsight, I wouldn’t have changed a single thing that led to this point because what was left when the smoke had passed was beautiful. I felt renewed, inspired, and purposed. I was also hungry for a good meal. I felt peaceful. It felt like I had been holding my breath for so long that I could finally breathe. My mum used to say, “We get down, but we don’t stay down." One thing She forgot to mention was when we rise; we rise higher and stronger than ever before.

“Prioritise your healing."

Sarah Michael

June 3rd

“Brokenness is an important process of becoming the person that you’re supposed to be.”

 Christopher Vescoe Blake.

June 26th

Solitude is priceless

Without social media, I was relatively inaccessible, and it was the most refreshing experience. Social media can be noisy, and my weekly Apple reports were outrageous. What I found most incredible was not the time I gained back from excessive scrolling, but the freedom my mind had to explore. This website is the product of that freedom. In solitude, my creativity returned, I suddenly had a tonne of ideas, and I wasn’t restricted. I dared to dream and plan. I had time to answer the question, “What do I want out of life?". I remembered who I was, and I remembered my value. If there is one thing I would urge you to do, it is to know your worth. To know your value is to accept people will come and go, opportunities will come and go, but you, you’re forever the prize. Solitude is priceless; take time out for yourself. Renew your mind and step out of the echo chamber.

“Don’t come back on twitter, it is depressing and ghetto."

Everybody

Everyday

“Shan, when my kids ask me what I was doing during the 2020 BLM revolution, I’m going to tell them I was at home crying because my heart hurt?? FORGET THAT”

Makeda

June 6th

Get Comfortable with being Uncomfortable

Who likes to be uncomfortable? I don’t. Towards the end of May, my friends challenged me to write something and share it with them. All I had to do was share it with two people, and I was incredibly uncomfortable about this. Flash forward to June, and I somehow managed to share “Why I don’t care about gender diversity” on my Linkedin. Over 8000 people have seen my article, and I’ve had some incredible conversations with friends and strangers. Imagine if I didn’t share it because it made me uncomfortable.  Imagine if I let fear hold me back.

 June taught me that nothing of significance happens when you’re scared of being uncomfortable, and nothing significant happens if you’re continually telling yourself you’re not ready. You’re ready. Don't let fear block your blessings. Someone once told me, "we don't know if we're 80% through our life for 20% through our life," and I often think about this. Don't put things off for the "future," go after it today. Allow your friends to challenge you to be great. In the moment you feel that you cannot do something, take that first step to do it. You owe it to yourself.

“You are intelligent, beautiful, and kind. Be strong and continue to grow."

Dad

June 1st

"It is so important to know what makes you happy"

Shanika

June 17th

 Stay in the present

 To know me is to know that I am big on planning. Nothing I do is “just because” and believe me when I say every move I make is part of a wider strategy. I start a new job & I plan what the next 2 years will look like, what experience I want to get, any promotions, and how it will set me up for my future role. I’ve always operated like this, and if I’m honest, it hasn’t done me much harm. However, June blew this thinking entirely out of the park. In a time where I couldn’t see very far into the future, I had no choice but to stay in the present.

 A few things became very apparent to me; firstly, I do not want to miss out on life because I am waiting for this plan I have for my future to materialise. Furthermore, I do not want to not go after an opportunity, because I’ve planned to do it in the future.  I want to explore this world, I want to explore myself. One thing I would encourage you to do is to be present in every moment, I spent the month of June so present in everything happening around me and everything happening to me.

 Living in the present inspired this platform, it inspired the planning of my first solo holiday. It’s amazing how courageous you can be in the present, when future plans do not restrict you. In reality, I’m a planner at heart but what I have learned is I need a balance between planning and living this life to the fullest. After all, what have we got to lose?

 “We need to stop making decisions for now based on a future that hasn’t happened yet. The things you want will come, but don’t let the  action of waiting on those things stop you from making moves today."
Makeda to Janine

July 2nd

I am strong

I have been reminded that I am strong. I am strong with a newfound appreciation of knowing when it is time to be strong and when it is time to lay my weapons down and feel. I learned that I am only as strong as my foundation, and if I don’t put time and effort into securing my foundation. I will fall.

For those at the back, I am a strong Black Beautiful woman. I smiled as I wrote that because its something I believe with my entire heart.

I’ve learned that I need to make it my business to know who I am. As I continue to navigate life, I will discover new dimensions of myself, but at any given point, I desire to know who I am.

2020 has been ridiculous, but I’ve promised myself that no matter what the coming 6 months have in store, I’m finishing this year strong. I'm going after everything I can and experiencing everything I can.

“I admire the strength but also the vulnerability you have shown this month. You trusted the process, and you're ready for next month! Can't wait to see it ”

Janine

June 28th

 “The fact that you’ve got all of this get up and go is testament to how you’ve been raised"

Akwasi

June 30th